Like many in the entertainment industry, Covid 19 and the quarantine protocols that came with it put me and my family in an unfortunate and unavoidable financial bind.  Without going into particulars, we survived, but it was a horrible year.  

I want to share 5 things that got me through mentally and financially. I hope this helps you, whoever you are.  

1 - Maintaining Self Efficacy 
   I think the most rattling thing about this situation is the realization for most of us that our skills have temporarily been rendered useless.  We have been rendered voiceless.  For me, I went from performing in front of thousands of people in a year to just a few dozen.  The weight of this, as a "minor league" musician, is just simply unparalleled. I can't impart any advice about this other than "do something." Get creative and find a way to make it work.  Seek help, call a friend when you get weird, make friends: even if they're just online friends.  Talk about what makes you happy with the people that make you happy.  

My point is: you're still you.  Your experiences didn't evaporate.  You may be looking for work, but you're still a skilled, intelligent, and compassionate person.  I see, just yesterday, one of my heroes (I won't mention who) utterly begging for work.  Looking past the obvious, ("jeez, if this person is having a hard time, what does that mean about little ole me?") you see the need for interpersonal interactions, which brings me to my next point:

2 - Focus small
   I don't mean diligence.  I mean the immediate: presence, noticing your surroundings, and enjoying the moment.  There aren't any mental gymnastics involved.  Have a cup of coffee notice its warmth, the taste, the bite.  Let your mind swim in the "here and now."  This may seem wrong to some of you.  "I have big problems that need solving right now."  I'm not telling you to abandon those problems.  I'm telling you to carve out time away from the obvious and enjoy something.  Talk to someone and enjoy talking to them.  Let go of the weight as you experience something pleasant.  Trust me, it'll make a difference.  Focusing small can lead to developing non-musical skill as well.  I've been spending time gardening and cooking.  Those are the things I can touch.

3 - Touch
   As you're noticing the small things, remember that your hands can be used to create, even in a non-musical way.  My gardening eventually led to greater things.  When we had problems buying groceries, I had been growing plants.  We ended up keeping grocery costs down, we ate more healthily, and we lost a little weight.  Touch can also mean showing affection.

4 - Expression
   Passionate people have an itch that must be scratched for the sake of our mental health.  Catharsis was in music, but the act of performing now has become so infrequent, we've got to get this out somehow.  I'd like to offer a solution:  Record.  We live in an era now where thousands of dollars in music recording equipment had been reduced to hundreds of dollars.  Will you have to spend money?  Yes.  Do you have to spend a lot of money?  Not necessarily.  My suggestion is to look into the gear you have already and figure out if you have the ability to record yourself.  Many computers offer some sort of Digital Audio Workstation or DAW that you can work with.  Apple has Garageband, which offers multi-channel recording, a modest (but decent) level of effects, as well as the ability to export to many platforms. 

Let me troubleshoot some of your issues preventatively: 

   "I don't have an Audio Interface"
   My suggestion is to invest some time in what MIDI can do.  You might, with your own computer now, be able to load a "digital instrument" into your DAW and record right away.  Have an electric keyboard gathering dust?  See if it has MIDI connectivity, find a cable that works with it, plug it in and BAM: You might have access to dozens of keyboard sounds that your computer can record.

   "Where can I find a cheap or free Digital Audio Interface (DAW)?"
    When I first started using this kind of technology, I didn't have any MIDI controllers or devices.  What I did have was the ability to program parts into an application called Abelton Live.  Using this program, over time, I was able to learn the language a bit and produce sounds that I imagine.  Not experimental weirdness, but a sound I was looking for using Ableton.  This is quite a journey and I suggest checking out instructional videos about Ableton wherever you find them.  Check out other great free DAWs in this article. 

  Being able to record and produce not only can give you an avenue of expression, but yield other recording or gigging opportunities. It also gives you the opportunity to collaborate with other musicians.  You can arrange, write, record, mix, and master with multiple people from your bedroom.  This can become really handy if you want to get into music licensing for film, or other broadcast medium. It takes a good amount of practice, but the payoff is well worth it.  

5 - Reconnect Inspiration
   Music can have the ability to become work, dull, and honestly sacrificial.  Just try to remember music isn't your enemy.  Take the time to return to your inspirations.  For me, I've been performing in cover bands, flexibly going from genre to genre as the gig calls for.  I've been able to identify with maybe 10 percent of the songs I play on a gig. 

Is it fun? Yes.
Does it make me happy? Yes.
Does it pay? Yes. 

Is it me? Well, not necessarily.

I don't have any problems regurgitating prerecorded music, playing in cover bands, playing someone else's music, etc.  Music is inherently confirming.  On the other hand, I have a history.  I desired a musical path that I couldn't chase.  There's no shame in this, though.  It's good to know what makes you tick and revisit the reasons you do what you do.  
 
Mantras that work for me: 
"Left foot, Right foot"
"It doesn't have to be perfect"
"Little wins pile up to a big win"

​I want to stress NOT to make permanent decisions based on a temporary problem. 
Suicide is a permanent decision.  Your next best idea is 100 percent better, guaranteed.  
I'm willing to talk about this further, contact me via [email protected].  I answer email more frequently than I answer the site's form submissions.  

As a matter of fact, contact me with any questions you have about what I talked about here.  

Cheers to a better 2021